Mary writes. Yes she does. Mary writes for Kalen. The Normals. That's my serious writing, so for this little section I'll write just...stuff.

*Mary's Advice about Boyfriends*

OK ladies *and all you gay boys* here is the deal about boyfriends. I have been through 3 in my whole meager existence on this earth and I must say...damn.

Up until 6th grade, I was a firm believer in kooties. You heard me, kooties. That invisible germ that separated the sexes until Mrs. Gonzalez came and told us that she bled a cup of blood every month. At that point, we decided to screw the kooties and go find us some men to hold our hands while we bled. Well, we were just desperate to tell you the truth. Here we were, mature, nearly developed 6th grade women, full of knowledge of sex and genitals. It was our duty to go scope out who would impregnate us and make our lives hell.

The first target I will name Enemy Number One. Girls, he is what we call a "creep to the er". You know the guy a long time and all of a sudden, BOOM. You like him. BOOM. He likes you. No, wait, scratch that. He likes those things on your chest and your cute TommyGirl Perfume. Enemy Number One attended one hoop dance with me, and we saw You've Got Mail. 4 weeks maximum and then it was over. Bye creeper.

Enemy Number Two, also known as "the charmer". Again, you know the guy for a hella long time, we're talkin 2-3 days. Lol, j/k. I knew this guy about 6 years. Then came 7th grade. We spent a long time on the phone. Well, kind of. It was still a young age, still a nervous time. The Charmer communicated to me through my best friend. We'd make three way calls, I of course being the silent and smooth criminal while she would ask him questions. You know, "Do you like Mary Ellen?" "Isn't she cute?". blah blah blah. Two movies, boom. It was over.

The third is what I call "rewind". You date a guy for a little while, and then all of a sudden he's back and you can't help it. You just think oh my gosh we are soooooo perfect for each other lets make out. *flips hair* So a guy comes back, you take him back, and then you realize how dumb it is. You're just friends.

Just friends is a tricky place to define. You are friends, but someone feels a bit more than that. The other person doesnt obviously, but it makes their ego bigger if they know someone is crushing on them and they have the ability to stay "just friends". Its like having two pieces of bread. One is toasted, the other just soft. The toasted likes the soft because its so...soft, but the soft doesnt like the toasted that way because he sat in a toaster for so long and grew crisp and crouton-like. So they obviously cant make a sandwich together and its over. Ok that made no sense but deal with it.

Don't stress over guys. Live up high school/middle school/college/nursing home/whatever without having to be concerned with who your ex is dating or how much of a bitch she is...grrr. Ahem. Anyways. Good luck!

*Hugs*

I think that most of us don't understand the power of a hug. For a while, I viewed hugs the way I view marshmellows. They are light and fluffy and make you laugh but when you have too many they lose the effect and if they get too hot then someone is going to get hurt.

But I realized that hugs and marshmellows have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

I gave so many hugs in '01 it's not countable. Ok I really didn't mean to sound like some war vet there but I think I did.

At first, it was weird. I'd go up to random people and ask for hugs. There was a lady dressed all in purple, who is now referred to as "Tinky Winky Lady". There was an old man walking up to a softball field that needed to know where a parking lot was...perhaps he needed to park his walker?? Ahem. Anyways. I loved the looks on everyone's faces. The people who recieved my hugs (that sounds funny...heheh) were always really nice. And my friends standing around would laugh their asses off. Everyone was happy.

Eventually I gained the confidence to go up to younger hugging buddies. Some very aesthetically pleasing guys were very willing to give me a hug, and I was very willing to give them one!!! But, there was also rejection.

The only time I was refused a hug was by a mean boy. He wore a pooka shell necklace. He just sort of laughed and said no. It hurt, but I rebounded quickly and moved on to the next hugging buddy.

I hug everyone. Sure, its great to hug a really hot person, but I have found that the not-so hottable huggers give better hugs. They appriceate it more. You never know how someone's day is going, or what they are feeling. And to try to cheer someone up who seems to be having a bad day or to try and give them a reason to be happy is a really cool thing.

Yes, this sounds dumb. But honestly there are times where I wish there was someone else like me that would randomly give me a hug. You just have those days, you know? You are surrounded by the people you care about most, but its like they are REQUIRED to like you. To have a complete stranger come up and give you a nice hug means a lot more I think. I had a crush on a guy for over a year once, and hugging him was hell. It was like.....not even a hug. It was more like running into him or something.

Be nice. Give someone a hug. It really does mean a lot in the long run. I am proud to say that I am a hugging buddy!